It all started in October. The year 2022. The year of destiny. In my 33 year, the year of mastery!
Breath of Life was doing okay. I was finishing up with the summer market season, the product side of the business was expanding, I had booked one person in Mind Over Matter and I was getting better at branding my content. Things were okay but I'm not here for just okay.
Left to right and back to front: Kara, Annamarie, Nikki, Danika, Chelsea, Yvette,
Me, and Andrea
I knew that Breath of Life can be more. I knew it in my bones!
Have you ever had that feeling about something or someone? The unshakable belief that if you just knew one thing, it would change everything and catapult you into the stratosphere? That was the feeling I had and I went searching for the one person that could help me better understand what I needed to do next.
Now this wasn't the first time that I had looked for a business coach or mentor. Throughout the year I had had many others that I invested my time, money and energy into. I just never felt like they invested much into me. And then, in October, my spiritual mentor Nikki Novo said that she wanted to give business coaching a try again. This wasn't the first time she had packaged her knowledge of business up nor me taking her up on the offer and to be honest I'm not sure what made me say yes to a second run.
Don't get me wrong I love Nikki. She gave me something 6 years ago that I will never be able to repay her for; language. Meeting her gave me the language I needed to tell people who and what I am and the confidence to live my truth, but after I certified in her Soul Reading Method, I had taken her first attempt at teaching business. At that time it was considered a mastermind and it was a group program. I remember going through the program and feeling at the end like it was good material but I needed more. Most of the information I had already learned through trial and error and once again I felt like I was ahead of the game she was playing ie teaching people how to set up a business. What I needed was someone to teach me how to be a CEO. After that experience I had continued looking for the answer, the person who could help me. I found other mentors, some good, some different but I was still struggling to understand what it was that I was missing that the successful high level CEO had that I didn't.
So, like I said, I'm not sure why I decided to pay the money for a 1 on 1 business mentorship with Nikki...maybe it was the fact that it was 1 on 1 or the fact that I was able to go out to North Carolina to meet Nikki in person, maybe I just missed being taught by Nikki...whatever the reason (probably all of them or none of them) I signed up. I trusted that the investment would come back to me ten fold; understatement of the year.
October and November conversations with Nikki and her company president Danika went very well and in between I jumped on calls with a group of women, many I didn't know from the most recent Soul Teacher cohort, to learn about how to set up an intuitive business. I dove into the material and the advice that they gave me and started doing all the things that they suggested. I refined some of my content and started building a library of content. I worked on my mindset and relationship with money. I sat down and looked at my signature course about healing one's self and I worked on consistency.
By the time December rolled around and I was preparing for the business retreat in North Carolina, I felt really good. I was ready for the next thing and I was ready to meet Nikki in person. Man did the Universe have far bigger plans for me.
December 6th, 2022 will forever be a day that lives deep in my heart and soul. I woke up excited. I was ready. I had my bags packed. I had made my lists, I had checked in online for my flight. Mom was set to drop me off and I had planned to take an Uber out to the property. I was going to be the last that arrived as my flight had been delayed, but I was happy. I got onto the first flight and settled into my seat and fell asleep just like I always do...something about other people taking the wheel that makes me so sleepy let me tell you. I conk right out. I embrace it.
Me and Nikki at Pisgah National Park
A pretty easy lay over in Atlanta (not my favorite airport) and I was at the tiny regional airport in Asheville North Carolina by 3 pm. To my surprise, one of the Soul Teacher grads, a client of mine and sister, Lambeth, was willing to pick me up and take me out to the property! Miracle number 1 of so many! 40 minutes later and we pull up to this amazing house with a SheShed, a creek behind it, and a huge house on a hill and some of the best energy I have ever experienced, and I hadn't even gotten into the house!
Not for one moment was I apprehensive which is freaking weird. I was walking into a house where four of the five women present I didn't know from Adam and I was going to be sharing space with them for three days and three nights. Months ago I would have been terrified and worried. Worried about if they would like me, frustrated that I was the last one there, hung up on shutting down my loud and "obnoxious" personality. NOT THIS TIME!!! I barreled into that house as fast as I could with nothing but excitement and as soon as I got through the door and saw the gorgeous amazon of a woman that was Annamarie (that was a shock!) I knew I was home. Shouts of "Hi!" and "How are you?" and "So good to meet you!!" Laughter, so much laughter! When I tell you that this was the perfect start to my week... well, I hope you are all able to experience a moment like that if you haven't already.
Annamarie (spectacular Pennsylvanian amazon like I said, baker, clinical therapist, and founder of the 5 anxiety languages), I knew from my Breath of Life Conversations episode but I didn't know Chelsea (a fiery brunette and Californian with a talent for business and money), Yvette (beautiful Mexican/Californian priestess, fire keeper, and curandera - straight up fucking powerful), Kara (spicy Puetro Rican/New Yorker with a sharp wit and beautiful curls and a vision for transforming how we work on our health and wealth and self together), and Andrea (Texan native, sexy yogi and interested in expanding our view of female sexuality, intuitive eating, conscious movement and what it takes to live our best lives at a high level of consciousness).
These ladies were ready to go! Immediately I was told to go out onto the land and find a stick and a stone that I resonated with. I could have asked questions but one of the themes I have been working on is "trust" and so I didn't stop to ask why I just shucked off my fake UGGS and waded into the stream. It was cold...in case you were wondering.
It took me a minute but finally I found a beautiful clear quartz in the center of the stream. I got out and watched as the others laughed, rolled up their pants and kicked of their shoes to join me. I found one of the longest and biggest sticks I could find and found moments to start getting to know the ladies.
When Nikki and Danika showed up we were all fired up. The kitchen was a symphony of laughter and joy and excitement. After hugs and hellos, we started getting ready for the opening ceremony. An opening and a
Andrea and Me searching for the best sticks and stones
releasing performed by Yvette and an experience that I will never be able to forget. To this day I can't thank her enough for giving me the gift of her ancestors, her culture, and her power. Through her I was given the opportunity to let go of what wasn't going to support and serve me throughout the coming days. I released fear of failure and expectations. I released the need to be liked and loved. I brought in more trust and light to help expand me, my abilities and my awareness.
Andrea found her stick (Picture curtesy of Lambeth)
After the ceremony, dinner was served and then the start of our end
of the day tradition, sitting around the table with hot tea talking about anything and everything. Over three nights, we all got a turn to tell our stories to speak out against our fears, to be held in the arms of our sisters and allow empathy to dispel the shame we feel. Knowing that we only had a short time in this place, we all unconsciously and silently made up the rule of staying up until just before midnight to hear, support, encourage, and challenge each other in how we viewed ourselves, our businesses, our family, and so much more.
The next morning, I woke up to the smell of coffee brewing. I scooted out of bed, mindful of Chelsea still sleeping, and went on the hunt. There was not apprehension or fear, I walked into the kitchen and straight into Andrea's open arms for a hug. I never thought it could be possible to find family so fast but that is what we were, all of us and as we all slowly got up out of our beds to join the rainy day, we kept talking. We kept listening.
Nikki and Danika appeared and the business part of the business retreat began. We did a future self meditation and 2 on 1 break out groups to discuss what our intention was to be for 2023. We even got to see the infamous SheShed that Benny made for Nikki so she could have an office. After breakout it was time to meet the one person this whole trip hinged on!
I kid you not, this whole trip I only wanted two things; one - To meet Benny and ask about how he accomplished all that he has with the property and two - MOLLY (Nikki's staffordshire bull terrier and the cutest and most protective little bullet you ever did see)!! Nikki and Danika I had locked and they are forever but these two, well that was the real toss up. To my pleasure and joy, Molly ran right up to me and planted her happy ass right at my feet begging for love and pets.
I was in 7th heaven. The group of us took a tour of Nikki's fabulous house and met her family and then went out onto the land. Cherokee energy sung to us from the earth as we hiked up the mountain to over look her property. Molly protecting us scouting up ahead and when we came to Nikki's special ceremonial spot we paused to hear words of wisdom about fortitude and courage and what it is to keep going during the hardest times. I also took it upon myself to accidently deposit some of my life force blood onto her land when a stem full of thorns stuck me. One of the other themes of this group and this trip was none of us fearing the tough conversations. We spoke about addiction, racism, poverty, the pandemic, worthiness, mindset, and sex. We kept nothing from each other and bared ourselves, begging to be accepted for who we are hoping that we could all see that which we would become. None of us disappointed.
After the hike, Nikki went off to teach and the 6 of us went to have dinner. Sitting at the table with a glass of wine we spoke about money and the mindset to gain more, we spoke about hardship and family ties and we took the time to write out what it was that we wanted to release, for tonight was the full moon in Gemini, and of course we were going to have a full moon fire release ceremony!
What I released in the fire ceremony. I wrote the things I was letting go
of and then under it I wrote my gratitude lists.
Benny was kind enough to start the fire and I went out to stare at it and feel the power of the moon. Andrea joined me and we spoke about what it is to love one's self fully without compromise or condition. I was constantly in awe at how each of these beautiful, powerful and talented women who we should all be so lucky to know, were always up for pushing the envelop, evolving their minds and bodies. I found myself looking up to the heavens thanking Creator for this beautiful gift of all 5 of them.
The fire releasing full moon ceremony brought many revelations. We released, fear and doubt, old relationships, anxiety and abuse, and old versions of ourselves and discovered within ourselves and together, some very mind altering points;
This shit isn't hard!
One should always break circle by holding hands in a circle, raising them and flinging ones arms down
And lastly, that the opposite of sister wounds is Sisterhood!
Then we danced. Danced to a metal band from Europe, one step away from stripping down to our birthday suits just because we could. We decided to leave that ritual for our next gathering. For the best, since little did we know, Nikki and Benny were enjoying our joy and freedom
Benny makes good fire!
from their porch, watching our shadows sway and circle and rejoice in the power of our collective consciousness. Once again we ended the night with a late night chat around the table with tea, spreading hugs as we dispersed to our respective rooms.
For the second full day it was all about being in nature and finding the blessings from it and each other. Benny joined us and provided many of us with our first experience with micro dosing. Winding our way up the mountain and heading into Pisgah National Forest to see the rock water slide, the waterfalls, and just ramble across the landscape; we let the earth, air, and water embrace us. Yvette and Chelsea received the blessing of abundance flowing to them. Annamarie, the blessing of understanding from a teacher about a tough situation, Kara the blessing of movement and challenging her body, finding out that she can do it and looks damn good too! Andrea a promise from me to return to scale bigger mountains and do yoga flow every day! I mean it too! I'm looking at the calendar right now. We climbed rocks, shouted into the void, and passed through portal trees into higher timelines and learned more about each other as the day passed.
Pisgah Annamarie, Yvette, Me, Danika, Chelsea Andrea, Kara
We ended the day going out to dinner to this fabulous Mexican restaurant and crystal shop. We even made a pit stop in a little plant shop. Once home Annamarie gifted us with her homemade chocolate chip cookies and we, for the last night sat down to tea and conversation. None of us wanted to go to sleep but our time was ending and the day was going to be long for many of us who were traveling back home the next afternoon. With just a few short hours left, we crammed as much as we could into what we had left. Hugs were always easy to receive as they flowed from one of us to the closest sister all night long. Holding arms or hands was not uncommon simply to enjoy the sisterhood. Last minute readings were gifted to each other regarding anxiety, health, and healing. And even though we knew sleep was important, Chelsea and I stayed up much later than usually sucking up every last vibrant moment we could as roommates telling stories and being there for our sisters.
In the morning, a heart opening ceremony and last minute advice about relationships was given. Before closing ceremony, Andrea gifted me with a beautiful morning yoga flow that had my muscles singing the next day. Don't walk, run to her retreats and classes because she is AMAZING!!
Sitting on the floor in the living room for the last time; I was struck, with great force, the realness of what had occurred in three days. I hadn't just made friends or created a coven of sister witches; although I had done those things. I hadn't just laughed and cried and learned and taught.
Perfected my wheel thank s to Andrea!
Something else had occurred and I knew, sitting there, looking at my mentor as she asked me to begin the ceremony and express what it was that I took away from the last few days, I couldn't do it. The words didn't and will never exist to describe what it felt like to walk into the house that first day and find 5 sisters ready to welcome me home. There are no words in this or any other language that could describe the feeling of acceptance I felt waking up that first morning and getting a hug from Andrea, who knew without me saying a word that it was exactly what I needed.
Nothing can articulate the feeling of standing in ceremony under the night sky being blessed and healed by our ancestors and Yvette that first night. The moon, and fire the night after. Having intense deja vu, telling you without doubt, that you have done this before with these amazing women circling the fire and reclaiming our power. To climb mountains knowing that with each step you took, something in you was breaking and reforming and transcending. I knew I couldn't describe for these women that right then, sitting in that circle on our last day that I was different; I was a higher version of myself. And as I looked around at my sisters and mentors, I realized I didn't have to. They already knew. What I couldn't say they felt and I found such peace in that. A peace I return to now often since returning home.
So I simply looked around the circle, smiled and said, "The thing I took away and am most grateful for is this." and grabbed Chelsea and Andrea's hands beside me. "This sisterhood. Something I have never had before." Nikki, knowing in her wisdom all the things I couldn't say gave me a hug that of course had me, finally to my sisters glee, crying! And while I wish I could say that time stood still then and we had hours and hours to just be with each other, it didn't. My sisters went around the circle expressing gratitude but all feeling like our tiny human bodies were just too small to fully express what we truly wanted to. Hugs were a little tighter, just a little more desperate after we finished and broke circle in our new way. A few of us were going to stay and spend a little more time with the land but the rest of us headed to the airport.
Time is fascinating. It speeds up when you want it to slow down, it slows down when you want it to speed up and there is never enough of it in general. Time is a construct that has no meaning and yet it is the thing that determines everything that we do. On this trip I felt like I experienced three months in the span of three days and yet at the same time I felt like it was 3 seconds. I learned things about myself that I can only credit to the conversations that I had with my sisters over meals and late nights. I have a path forward in 2023 for my business and my life that I can only credit to my abundant and generous mentors Nikki and Danika.
My heart is happy and my soul feels full. I know there is so much more left to do but I am up for the challenge.
My sisters and I decided to call ourselves the Gemini Coven. In honor of the full moon for which we were created under. We have a shared playlist that we dance to and think of each other, we have a shared text chain where we tell each other good morning. We are here for each other. And sure is it possible that over time we fall apart, stop speaking, sure, anything is possible but I have faith. I know that what happened over three days was pure magick, gifted to us by the grace of the divine in all of us. I know that what happened to all of us is special not because of some thought that it is one in a million, no no no no. Over the millennia our 6 souls have fought, loved, cared for, met and lived together many times. What makes it so special is that despite the lives we chose to live in, the jobs we do, the cities we inhabited, we found each other again. One choice different for one or each of us and we may not have.