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Being a Healer...It's not just what I do, it's who I am

I have known since I was a child that I was called to medicine.

Of course there were so many things that I felt I was good at. I thought that I could be anything but when I was 2 I remember taking care of my brother James and feeling so protective of him and knowing that one of the hardest jobs of my life was to make sure that nothing ever happened to him.

When I was 6 I told my mom that when I was older I was going to open a hospital. It was going to take care of her when she was older and show people how to do it right. Apparently taking care of just my family was too small a task. It was around the same time that I decided I was going to be a doctor.

Throughout my education, I drove my friends and family mad trying to care for all of them all at once. I was the friend you came to for advice, a hug, they never realized it but they also came to me for the truth. I didn't sugar coat things. I felt lying to them about the hard stuff didn't serve them and only prolonged pain and suffering. I shot straight and I didn't feel bad if someone took something badly. In my heart I knew that the pain to change needed to be greater than the pain of staying the same. I found that others didn't think that way and I struggled with keeping friends and being understood.

Once in college it wasn't long before I started to see my dream of being a doctor slip away. I struggled in school the first year and even though I loved everything, well almost everything about my first college experience, I found myself starting to doubt, for the first time, what I was going to do. by the time I graduated I hadn't achieved the status that I wanted. My GPA wasn't competitive enough for medical school and I hadn't taken the MCATS the way I should have out of fear and so I made the tough decision to return home.

I thought long and hard about my next move and spent a year prepping for the MCAT. On the day I was meant to take it, it was storming and I decided to blow them off. $300 and over a year of prep down the drain. That same day I applied to the best nursing school in Minnesota and two weeks later I received my acceptance letter from St. Catherine University. I cried, not realizing if I was crying because I wasn't going to be a doctor or because I realized that all the things that I wanted to do as a doctor couldn't actually be done by them and in fact were now done by nurses.

By divine guidance I had found my path to medicine, a path that started before my baby brothers where ever born. Graduating from nursing school was maybe not my proudest day but it was definitely one that will live with me forever. I knew in my blood and bones and heart that I was finally going to be able to do all the things that I had said I would do when I was younger. That on the worst day, when I was covered in every possible fluid, when I was heart sore because the Creator had called someone home and I wasn't able to save them, when I had held the hands of people who were scared of what the future would hold for them, I was going to feel a level of divinity that I would never be able to ever articulate.

I still feel that way today.

I have spent my entire life caring for the sick, the abused, that discarded and I have stood up for the underdog, the spit on and the weak. I have loved every moment of it and when I realized that I was so good at it BECAUSE I was connected and remembered my intuition and healing skills, I unlocked the second half of my soul. Within me I found a peace that I couldn't imagine and that sense of peace has persisted.

Being a healer isn't just what I do, it is who I am. I have lived many life times learning about the human body and the souls that all come from the same place. I have spent eons learning about the various forms and ways to heal. I have remembered these ways and I get to teach it all. Everyday I am unlocking and learning or remembering something that will help others reach their most spectacular level of health. And the promise I make is that I will never stop.


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